funnies for 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR! This has been a big year for us. Chris' dad died in June and we sold our house and moved to Texas so Chris could teach and coach. The only way we could enjoy such a year is to keep our Kelly sense of humor. Please enjoy some of the Kelly pictures, funnies, quotes, and "deep" thoughts from 2008.

1-07 Ben, after praying that he could be a daddy when he grows up, asked in a voice of extreme suffering: "Why is it taking SO long for me to be a dad?!"

1-10 Lydia comes up with yet another nickname for Abigail. We have already done Abi, Abigalillian, Abijillian, and now she goes for simple with Aba...only I hear ABBA.

1-13 Ben asks if Christmas is for daddy..upon further questioning he says, "Yeah, Christmas celebrates Chris!"

1-21 Ben decides that Dad is the "meanest guy in the world." This is decided based on Dad finishing the rest of the black beans. Dad challenges him to think of anyone meaner than him...Lydia comes up with giants and Ben comes up with robots. For your information, according to Lydia giants mainly hide (the little ones behind trees and the adults sit behind mountains), which is why you may not have seen them.

1-22 Kalani joins in on a discussion about the numbers of vowels in our names. "I have two vowels in my name," she says. Lost in illogical "I have failed as a homeschool mom" land, I say "WHAT? You have three!" We go back and forth a few times before I remember to ask "What do you mean?" I only have 'a' and 'i' in my name -- two different vowels." AHHHH, communication at it's best.

2-02 Ben and I are holding little Abi. He looks at all of our fingers and comments on how fingers grow; then he says, "When my ring grows (CTR ring from primary) it will be a watch!"

2-03 Abi is blessed. Over a foot of snow keeps some relatives from getting out of their driveways. A few more may have helped since Abi almost rolls right off the hands of the men holding her.

2-04 Abi wakes up early with a stuffy nose. While Mom is using that baby voice - you swear you'll never use before you have children - and calling her a darling little snuffalufagus, she smiles! Raymond also enjoyed the smile which led to a long string of smiles and coos and snuffaluffaguses and giggles (all from Mom and Raymond, for Abi was smiled out.)

1-23 Kalani interrupts my book reading with the comment, "Natalie and Raymond look colored." My brain goes into panic mode wondering where she could have heard that word, what she could possibly mean and wondering what associations she has with that word...but I learned from the vowels so I ask, "What do you mean?" "Dad's laptop is sideways and they look blue, black, and yellowish, you know like someone colored them." How long can I preserve that definition of colored and avoid the antiquated one?

1-25 We put the children to bed. Lydia goes upstairs for the umpteenth time to do whatever she can to procrastinate bedtime. She comes back downstairs with Becca. "She was stuck in her crib," says Lydia. Ummm, we put her to bed...it's bedtime..AGGHH. She had gotten both girls out of bed. Susan went right back to sleep.... on the kitchen floor?! Rebecca had come downstairs hoping to stay up with us. How very sweet of Lydia to save her sister from the horrible fate of sleep.

1-26 On our way to a great "toga party," I realize that we will be playing Twister so I review right and left with Lydia and Ben. Both of them are right handed so I tell them that their right hand is the one they write with. Ben promptly raises his left hand, "And this is the one I hit with!"

1-27 Ben stops abruptly during his prayer to ask, "Where is God?" After a brief discussion of God and how we can go to Him as our Father in Heaven and how He listens to prayers, Ben says, "I really want to be a dad!" (President Hinckley died today and my mom went into the hospial with a heart attack.)

2-08 Ben says out of the blue, "I wish I had Jesus in my pocket then we could pray together!"

3-07 As we are driving to choir Natalie notices the Spanish Fork sign that reads, "Pride and Progress". Having just read some Jane Austin, she comments: "That should read Pride and Prejudice"...hmmm.

3-11 Raymond says out of the blue..."I think baptism is like this life. Before we go in the water it's like before we are born, then we are alive, and then when we are out of the water it is like after we die."

3-12 Ben says, "Mommy we need to get another baby in your tummy, we need some more boys around here!"

3-14 Kalani asks "What's the melillian?" Natalie says, "Do you mean the millennium?" "Yeah, that."

3-15 Abi giggles for the first time! I LOVE baby giggles.

4-3 I'm reading the DK Star Wars book. On one page is General Grievous, then on the next page is him with his shoulders disjointed so he has the four arm thing going. I say his name on the first page, then turn the page and Ben interrupts saying, "General Conference!"

4-18 Ben climbs up on my lap, snuggles in and says, "I want to play gentle 'I love me' games!"

5-24 Abi is 5 months old, can now roll in both directions, gets up on all fours, and does a baby downward facing dog.

6-03 Becca is saying the morning family prayer and in light of her daddy's job hunt says, "bless daddy to get a new bob." Daddy promptly emails his brother, Bob, to release him fom his duties, so Chris is now searching for a new Bob.

6-08 Ben came home from church today declaring he is the Bishop. What does he do as Bishop? "Opens doors and gives out candy! What else?"

6-15 Kalani can't decide whether to ask Mom or Dad, so it came out, "Dam." Then NONE of the children know that is a swear word and don't get why Dad, Mom and Michelle Kelly are laughing.

6/27 Chris' dad, Robert Coffin Kelly died. We will miss him terribly but are so grateful for his life and now his freedom from pain and health struggles here.

7/12 Ben says to his cousin Michelle Kelly, "you can't go to BYU - you are a girl!" After further questioning we discover that "going to BYU" really means playing football or men's basketball in Ben's world.

7/21 Britt makes a fatal mistake mentioning that none of her chilren have broken any bones yet...the next day Ben jumps form one couch to another and slips off onto the unfinished basement floor at Grandma's house. (I saw it and honestly it looked like one of those injuries you see on tv when you KNOW it's not good). Ben had a greenstick and buckle fracture on his elbow.

Chris decides to go back to teaching and coaching and gets a job in Pampa, Texas. It is inconceivable to leave our friends and Grandma Kelly, yet off we go.

8/21 We are driving to Pampa, TX. We cross over the Colorado-New Mexico border and I welcome the children to New Mexico, to which Ben (4) replies -"This isn't NEW Mexico - there's nothing new here. There's NOTHING here. This is Old Mexico (insert heavy pout)." We discover that New Mexico isn't good for playing I spy (I spy something green-a tree) and difficult for the alphabet game as well - there do have to be signs to play!

8/24 Becca informs us that we are NOT in Texas. We ask her where Texas is..."Outside," she replies.

8/26 Ben gets his cast off. X-rays - no problem. Big saw and loud vacuum right next to his skin - no problem. Offer to wash up his arm? "NO!" he says jerking his arm away with its newly revealed dirt collection.

8/28 Ryan Kelly opens his mission call to "feet" Lauderdale, FL.

8/28 Chris, upon discovering that the TV remote is still packed: "How can I be a coach without a remote?"

9/22 Raymond randomly walks in the family room and asks Natalie,"Do you think you could eat a piece of chicken the size of Star (our chubby kitten)?" "YUM," says Natalie." The chicken - not Star," says Raymond.

10/08 Benjamin says he hopes no one in our family will go to the USA. I ask him why and he says, "Well maybe Moms and Dads can go." I probe more and discover he's worried about his brothers and sisters and there is water and surfing in the USA (guess what Beach Boys song I was doing dishes to this morning?) I think it's time I hang up the maps again.

Matthew Kelly receives his mission call to Ontario, Canada.

Jacob Kelly is finally, officially adopted and sealed to the Kelly family.

Kevin Kelly receives his mission call to Atlanta, Georgia.

12/14 Susan continues to deny the existence of her chicken pox...only once during all her time covered with pox did she admit it....and then it was "cheekn pox"-apparently she got the tex mex version of the disease.

12/28 Raymond leads the chicken pox army fighting the Huns. In a unique combination of Star Wars and Chinese he claims the role of Qui-Gon Chin.

volleyball

So I'm playing community "volleyball". This is not your best volleyball, it's the kind where the most exercise is abdominal from laughing. The people are all nice though, and I am playing.

As we're playing, Buddy (real name used because it's awesome) hit the ball in a great spot for a point. After which he said "When you're fat, it's all about ball placement!"

Kelly family

Not sure what happened to the original picture in this post. It turned into some weird advertisement.

My mother and I both have eight children. In a twist of biology she had six boys and two girls, while I have six girls and two boys. Much of my daily routine must be somewhat familiar to her, even if she doesn't remember. When I've asked my mother advice a basic issue of motherhood, sleeplessness, she says she doesn't remmeber having major problems. This is ironic because I remember BEING a major problem! I have been told that I made my dad jump around chasing away flying monkeys from that still to scary to be seen movie, the wizard of Oz. I remember sleeping in between them on a camping trip and I know I woke up quite early as a child. There are other simple things I know we share, like wondering if 4 bunches of bananas will survive the weekend, being told "I'm hungry" while still clearing the table from the previous meal, and mountains of laundry.

I had occaission to wonder recently about playtime. In my family some afternoons look like this



All we need for a fabulous afternoon is the nucracker and dancing clothes, even just scarves will do. I know from experience that this isn't as fascinating to boys. For whatever reason boys and music at my house tend towards wrestling.

I know boys and girls play differently. Just ask my son what happens when he asks a sister to play risk. They always refuse. When he first got he game and they agreed to play it they would come to me crying within minutes, "he's talking over my country!" Not only do they like different kinds of games. But even given the very same toy they play differently This is clearly seen with dinosaurs at our house. Ben and Raymond opt for major carnivorous battles. They also spend a lot of time lining them up preparing for said battle. The girls put all the dinosaurs in a pile, pick out families, assign mommies and daddies and children, and play a rousing game of house. No one gets eaten. When we play castle the girls think of the beautiful dresses and dancing, the boys think of dragons.

Parental fear factor

I've long declared that the show Fear Factor is a farce. It really should be called stupid factor. Eating weird animal parts and jumping from moving trucks for money are definitely not fears to overcome.

The real fear factor is life. Yesterday my dear little three year old said those words every parent fears "I don't wanna wear diapers, I want underwears!"

Now don't get me wrong, I do want my children to be potty trained. It's just that I go by the very practical council given by a wise cousin "diapers are cheaper than therapy!" All summer long I've been procrastinating potty training. At one point I even bribed this same toddler NOT to go to attempt potty training. Something about our summer makes that reasonable.

I know what potty training means. It means life interupted, TONS of bathroom trips, laundry, closer prximity to poop and carpet cleaning galore. This particular potty training adventure involves two little girls. Potty training twins...

Despite my experience, is that resume material?, I have already made mistakes this go round...

Mistake number one: the moivational panty shopping trip should be IN THE MORNING! Last night after a day of fair success at potty training we loaded up to pick up the motivational panties. The goal is to buy the potty training child underwear SO darling they won't want to get them messy. As I was driving it occured to me why this doesn't work for boys. My boys normally opt for superhero or racecar underwear. Perhaps logic tells them that If batman can handle the joker, he should be able to handle other toxic messes without blinking. How super can spiderman be if he can't handle an ccaissional flood? Cars are obviously impervious to mess. Now luckily that didn't apply to this situaion. My girls picked out princesses and beautiful flowers. They fawned over their panties, flashed each their panties as they ran through the house, carried them around lovingly. The motivation is definitely there...Cinderella does not DO floods and we won't even discuss any other thing she may have to face.

The problem this particular time is the timing of the shopping trip. I had just increased my children's desire to wear panties RIGHT BEFORE BED! Am I insane? It took a great deal of bribery and discussion to encourage the less ready child to put on a pullup for night time. Children aren't dumb. You can call pullups whatever you want...they are really glorified diapers. Who cares what happens to the little pictures on the front, it is obviously made to be USED. We survived the first mistake...

SECOND MISTAKE! That's right it's only been two days...but here it is. Today I had planned a homeschool girls book group at my house. I was inviting 6 young ladies over (ages 8-1), discussing the secret garden and doing a craft together. Prepraing for that, and hosting that is NOT condusive to interuptions every few minutes of nature calls, or worse nature miscues. We avoided those problems the old fashioned way...I told the girls if they had two accidents this morning they were back in pullups...so we ended up in pullups for the meeting.


Here we are at only day two...I will just repeat the refrain..."they'll be potty trained before college, they WILL be potty trained before college."

Forget fear fator, maybe I should go for wifeswap...I do like the husband though, maybe it should be toddler swap

a real writer

Everyone says you are not a real writer until you receive your first rejection notice. When I sent my story in last January I knew that could happen. I just assumed that this could be different. time passed. Some friends reminded me that the longer they keep it the better. It means they like it enough to put time into it. AFter six and a half months I gently inquired and this is what I got back...

Dear Ms. Kelly,

Thank you for submitting Miracle of the Gulls and for being so patient
with us. After careful consideration, we have come to the conclusion
that it is not something that fits our publishing needs. We apologize
for how long it has been, but we wanted to give the manuscript every
possible chance.

We appreciate the skills, effort, and time that have gone into preparing
your manuscript.

Best wishes in your future writing endeavors.

Sincerely,

The Editors
Covenant Communications, Inc.

I'm officially a writer...and looking for a new publishing company.

The last post doesn't exactly suffice for the last two months! Although this slideshow is long, it doesn't have everything...Don and Cindy had a wonderful visit with many hikes with natalie, kalani went to girls camp for the first time, Raymond had a fabulous time at cub scout day camp, Chris visited Texas and found a job and took MANY pictures of houses for me...Even to our last day in utah with David working hard to pack our truck in a way only my father could duplicate, kathy cleaning mom's house and helping to get us out the door and the Leavitts providing a sanctuary for us...and so very many more people than that... some day we may unpack the camera cable and post the pictures of my parents visit. For now these "few" may suffice.