Tuesday, December 31, 2013


1/6/2013 All three oldest children bear their testimonies-which means they choose to share with the entire church congregation how they feel about God and ... in this case their family. Kalani says "I love my family, even if I don't show it. ever." Good thing that's not true!

1/20/2013 We are quickly eating sandwiches before church. Susan is discussing the kind of lunch meat we have. (ham). "I like dead pig. It's delicious. Especially when they take out the bones and blood and stuff." Oh we are ALL hungry now Susan. thanks for that.

1/24/2013 Susan was sitting next to me while I was nursing. I was partially covered up. Susan covers me with the blanket saying "I'll give you some privacy Rachel"..half a second later she pulls the blanket back and says quite loudly "never mind!" and starts playing peek a boo.

1/24/2013 Quiz time... Becca asks to watch a movie. She wants the " I hid under your porch because I love you" movie. Which movie does she want?

1/28 Family home evening. Chris is about to read us all a scripture. He is standing (was he holding a baby, or just getting our attention?) He coughs and prepares his dad reading voice. He reads Alma 55:31 :"But behold, the Nephites were not slow to remember the Lord their God in this their time of affliction. They could not be taken in their snares; yea, they would not partake of their wine, save they had first given to some of the Lamanite prisoners." He then says "this scripture refers to something we call in our family the'token Lamanite'." There is squirming among the children...they notice dad has a hot pad in his hands...what has dad done? He continues.." I have put this scripture into practice in my own life today by tasting the peanut butter cookies made for family home..." "DAD!" much laughter and admonishing by the children and ME because dad has committed the cardinal sin of eating the treat BEFORE it is TIME. Quick analysis of dad's health...he seems to have NOT been poisoned-though many children are considering it NOW. Quick, record breaking prayer and mad dash for the kitchen to see just how many cookies dad has tested and how many are left.

2/20 The older children come home from church with face paint and various designs on their arms and hands. Abi (5) particularly likes the flower on Natalie's arm. She asks for it. I ask her if she'd like me to unscrew Natalie's arm and trade with her arm. She says "Silly! Arms are connected...we'll have to break it off."

2/21 Abi (5) "Mom, sometimes food makes babies." WHAT? I ask. " You ate food and you got a big belly and you had a baby." oh yes. huh.

2/26 Susan, "Oh Rachel you're so cute...until you turn hannah's age and become a master of destruction"

2/26 "Becca get on your shoes by yourself..I just put mine on and I'm 3 minutes younger than you!" susan

3/12 Susan, "Rachel you are just a sugar plum pie! Except I would never eat you except like in kisses" mwah mwah mwah..."There I ate your brain...I'm a zombie" Happy 3 months old Rachel!

3/17 We're working on memorizing The Living Christ. I'm copying a section out and Susan (7) is reading over my shoulder. Susan reads "Under the direction of his fat hair...that doesn't make sense"...no it doesn't sue. (The line is under the direction of His FATHER). I'm not sure this is leading to the increased spirituality in our home like I was hoping...

3/30 Abi has been singing to the baby in the car (Rachel is not a fan of car seats). The song is called I'm trying to be like Jesus...only she's singing "I'm trying to be like Moses" I'm not sure if she's hoping to part seas or wander for 40 years or be a part of cursing people with plagues...

4/1 Kalani is sharing some of the things she learned over the weekend. She had a great experience reading the New Testament in two days with her seminary class. she was talking about Paul and said. "Paul is sexiest". Teenage girls read the new testament differently than I do.

4/13 Susan notices some left over bunny-easter stuff. she comments on just how great that'd be for easter. I ask "Susan, you know what Easter is really about right?" "Yes mom, Jesus and the cross" I say yes then ask "So why do you think there are bunny things around easter?" She responds "Because they are so reverent!"

4/28 After a very disappointing first day of swim team (thunder and lightening = no swimming)...ben said the prayer "Bless us that we can actually SWIM at swim team tomorrow and bless all of the sick people, there are too many to remember"
4/28 After Hannah plays connect the spots on mommy, I say "I'm part leopard...I just got the spots and not the speed"

5/29 We are on our way to swim team and the older children are singing the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FPxYDGfniM just to reinforce the nerdiness, when the lyrics say "middle earth is saved by the smallest of things" Susan butts in to say.."really? the smallest of things? What about dust mites" Then a conversation ensues about what exactly are the smallest of things including atoms, electrons, quarks and on the other side of the conversation a discussion on what was meant by the lyrics and well. giggles-that would be me.

6/27 I sometimes refer to motherhood as my day job. On one such occasion I said "It's a great day job" and Susan interrupted with.."Sure the days are fine, it's the nights that get you! The baby waking up, the diaper changes...."

7/3 We're on our way to a new movie theater. We had left with plenty of time and had mapquested. It's just that road closures weren't accounted for on mapquest. As we are making our second u-turn Susan pipes up "Good thing Dad isn't here so we can ask for directions!"
7/12 We're on our way to an Oyster Creek Elementary school to launch rockets with cub scouts. As we are approaching the school Ben says "We don't have to go to that horrible place do we?" My mind starts going crazy trying to remember what I could have possibly have said about public schools. As I'm wondering what I could have done to poison his mind against the public school system...I decide to just ask, "why do you think this is a horrible place?" "OYSTERS mom" he says. oh. that's fine then. I'm totally good with influencing his mind against seafood!

7/13 We're watching Robin Hood...the super old Erol Flynn variety. At one point some guy says "All Hail Prince John!" and Susan says "Prince John? Hail, no." Yes we are immature, so my husband and I have since been agreeing with her and her "hail no" all against prince john of course.

7/20 My children were interviewed for the stake youth musical ( a church program for teens). They were asked some basic, open ended questions. One question was "what grow on an apricot tree?" the answer that Susan, Abi and Rebecca ALL gave? Popcorn! Becca was asked "Who lives in heaven?" Her answer? "Lots and LOTS of dead people."

7/22 Princess Kate goes into labor. As I'm telling one daughter this...Susan is listening in. She asks what labor is. "It's the hard work a mommy's body does to prepare to give birth". "Oh she says...so it's how her body splits open". um ouch. she continues "how does her body go back together so quickly" I wonder what in the world she is visualizing. She goes on to say "Women are lucky...AND not lucky. I mean they get the babies, but the have to have them. Then they have the hardest job in the world of taking care of them."

8/5 epicly bad family home evening start. Two children had been privately spoken with, tackling was involved, a hug pile ensued to bring one child back, lots of playing,people stealing other people's seats, a crying baby and we hadn't even gotten past the opening song and prayer. I say exasperatedly "Can we at least keep it down to a dull roar?" Kalani says "Mom it's NEVER just a dull roar" "Yes it is" I say "When everyone is sleeping and dad is snoring...it's a dull roar." The good news is we did get to the lesson and the children shared some tender mercies of the Lord that they had experienced that day that I didn't even know about. These children are going to drive me to sugar.

8/24 I'm babysitting my nephew's son, Richard. I am changing his diaper and Hannah comes up to investigate. Upon seeing him she says "That baby's bum is crazy!"

8/25 We're watching a show and a heavily made up lady comes on with sinister music in the background. Susan says "I don't trust her, she's wearing makeup. I don't trust anyone wearing makeup." Susan looks around at her 7 sisters" No offense to anyone wearing makeup." um. okay.

9/1 The scout master walked in front of our van and waved to us. He used what I call a light bulb wave. My first thoughts were of calculus in high school. I say this to my children. They are obviously confused. So I say "Do you want to know what I learned first in Calculus?" Natalie immediately responds "That you'll never use it again?" "No!" I say "I learned how to wave"

9/22 "You have never worked full time until you're a mom." susan.

10/7 I'm in trouble. Susan AGE 8! is watching the end of some disney teen thing with her older sisters. The annoying little couple kiss at the end and susan says, "Now THAT'S what I call lip-synching!" yes she does actually know what lip-synching is. I later gave Chris a quick kiss and she told me "MOM! That is not lip-synching!" then goes into great detail... sigh.

10-20 Abigail "Mom. I know why you call dad 'honey'…it's because you can't have sugar."

10-30 On the way home from picking up Kalani from Jr college Abigail starts talking about just how painful childbirth will be. Then she asks "Mom, how do babies get out?" Making sure I don't answer much more than she needs at age 5, I ask…"What do you mean?" "I mean if you are wearing pants..how does that work? I don't want to have a baby in my pants!" "OH." I say. "You take your pants off first" "Okay" she says…then changes the subject. That was it! kids. you NEVER know.

11-9 Part of Raymond's birthday breakfast included Cocoa Puffs. They have star wars pens and Hannah(3) was looking at all of the characters who were to be featured on the pens. She noticed Obi Wan and said "Look mom! Jesus!" Fast forward to a bit later. Hannah says she is still hungry. I ask her what she wants to eat. She replies "Meatball Jesus!" oh. I say, and walk over to the cupboard to get the cocoa puffs. I speak toddler.

11-10 Hannah (3) "A long time ago I was a baby! then I grew up and now I'm a HUMAN!" Susan…"you were already a human!"

12/25 We had a family nativity. My favorite parts? the frantic Joseph, Mary fell off the donkey, the hopping angel baby thieves-who were so giggly the shepherd's fake fear was just funny, Rachel stealing the baby constantly…and when it came time for baby Jesus to be born...surprise Mary...twins. never a dull moment.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012-the year of the funny

1-31 Susan(6), Raymond(12), and I were talking about Sinbad. Susan said, "I think he's a nomad." I was curious as to her reasoning and word choice, so I asked, "What's a nomad?" She replied, "Someone who's never mad? You know they have no mads?"

2-1 At first I thought it was temporary holiday confusion...but it's still going strong. Over the holidays, 1yo Hannah started calling Chris...momma and me...dad. I thought it was just because Chris was home more and she could go to either of us for anything. It is not really a problem per se...but it does get a little strange sometimes, like today at church, when Chris came back in sacrament meeting and Hannah yelled "MOM!" and ran to him. ***update..we are now both mom. Very rarely she calls Chris Dad...still don't know why.

2-10 We made brownies..whole wheat flour and honey. I put two on my plate and Susan says "Who are those for?" "For me!" I say. "Mom!" she says, "You can't have those." "I can sue...there isn't sugar in them, it's okay" "But mom", she says "If you want to have another baby you need to eat healthy and brownies aren't healthy!" my very own nutrition nazi/baby pusher.

2-12 A Restful Sunday afternoon finds me sitting alone in the rocking chair dinking around on Facebook. Susan comes up "Mom, since you're bored, I brought two books, a pillow, a blanket...and ME!"

4-15 So we're in church singing the hymn before taking the sacrament (the Lord's super). Well Chris is singing beautifully and I'm distracting the toddler by letting her put stickers all over my face. She finally is interested in another past time and I work on removing the stickers. I think they're all gone, but I don't want to go the whole day with a random sticker on my face. So I lean over and interrupt my husband's intent singing with a simple question "Do I have a sticker on my nose?" He looks at me like he has never heard of stickers, is completely unfamiliar with children and isn't so sure he knows me either. He points to where the last remaining sticker is and returns to singing..very confused. I lean over and say "Hey...you prepare for the sacrament your way, and I'll prepare for the sacrament my way!"

9/2 We are talking about Rebecca and Susan's birthday. We are talking about how Grandma Kelly has died, and that's why they didn't get a birthday card from her. I said "There just isn't a post office in heaven, why do you think that is?" Susan says "Because they don't have electricity yet?"

12/12/12 Susan comments on my very squishy post baby belly..."It's SO soft and squishy, no WONDER Rachel liked it in there!"

12/12/12 We have a wonderful baby and name her Rachel Barbara. Her middle name reminds us of Chris' wonderful mother. Our children never called grandma by her given name so instead of bringing to mind their grandma...they think of this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpcf_qD3GW4

12-22 Ben has a great love for his now 15yo sister Natalie on her birthday, so although his 9yo self must sing that she looks like a monkey,and he did notice she climbs like a monkey, he doesn't think she smells like one!

12-24 We read Luke 2 and act out the story...it starts out with 16yo Kalani mimicking MY pregnancy waddle. It was so funny. The story continued with an angel dressed in black. A shepherd who cowered then climbed said angel to see the baby better. The three wise men who were unsure about the direction east, and dressed -one with a tutu on her head and another as a leprechaun chef. Never a dull moment.

12-31 As part of our new year's eve festivities we were playing charades. Chris chose this last moment of 2012 to court death by pretending to be pregnant me--I would ask if I really walk like that when I'm pregnant but I DON'T want to know. Especially funny was the 16yos outrage that dad would mock his wife when she did hte very same thing days before.